Almost Daily Cat Haiku

I almost didn’t get this one written. I couldn’t make my brain work because some neighbor’s lawn care company showed up at seven in the friggin morning and started howling at the rising sun with their friggin leaf blowers.

I don’t hate much. Hate takes a lot of emotional energy and has zero positive impact. But I hate leaf blowers. Which is interesting because they too require a lot of energy and do not net much in the way of positivity. A vacuum cleaner creates a similar level of annoyance, but they accomplish something. They actually pick up the detritus and allow one to remove it from the location being vacuumed and into an appropriate vessel. But a blower just moves all the crap around. It’s all still there. Half of it is left drifting around in the air and eventually settles back down where it was in the first place. If you work the blower around long enough, you can probably make sure all that airborne garbage passes into someone else’s airspace before gravity takes its toll on it. But that’s not really “cleaning up”. That’s just moving the problem onto someone else’s plate. Which I guess is pretty much par for the modern world. But thats a pretty shitty thing to be OK with.

Let me put this is a way that makes sense for the average suburbanite:

Using a leaf blower is in the same column as leaving your grocery cart in the middle of the parking lot.

Yeah. I said it.

Do with that as you may. I need to go to work, and that requires pants. Apparently.