Almost Daily Cat Haiku

Good morning, friends and families. It is Thursday, so the plants get watered. But garbage does not go out because nobody worked on Monday so that half of Thursday gets postponed until tomorrow. Don’t forget to half-thursday on Friday.

Writing is hard work. It takes dedication. And sacrifice. Today, for example, I have not yet eaten breakfast. I will eat once I finish typing, of course. I can only sacrifice so much. And with that, my tummy has lodged formal complaint with management. Good day to you all, may the waken hours bring you wonders and windfall.

I used to hate meetings, but now I really enjoy them. The secret is replacing all the other humans with a cat. Productivity is up. Office morale is up. And I almost never interact with middle management at all!! If I were getting paid for this, it would be perfect!

But, we’re going to have to put in pin in that. We can circle back and reallocate workforce resources towards it at the after-action drilldown seminar this afternoon.

Ok everybody. Get out there and synergize the shit outta your day!

Regretfully, I must admit, this majestic fluffy monster is not named “Lord Whisker Britches”. I do not remember his name, and it is too early to contact his human to ask who he really is. So, for now, he is royalty. He is, however, a majestic fluffy monster of a cat.

Many days (weeks?) ago, I visited with a friend I’d not seen in some years. When I arrived at their home I discovered this fine feline roommate of theirs. I had no idea this person had cats. (Yes, plural. There is another I have not as of yet Haikued.) And I got to pet them, and they loved me.

So the daunting task of “leaving my house” and the inevitable “human interaction” that process tends to result in, was good. It was good regardless. The humans I rendezvoused with are good people, the evening was just better because cats.

So, it is good to leave the comfort of that one chair in your living room and interact with humans. Sometimes they have cats!!!

Channeling my inner Donne this morning. Because nothing says Memorial Day like 17th century Londonite poetry. And to all you American Lit snobs out there: No, it’s not a Hemingway reference. FlooferNoofer doesn’t have enough toes for that.

I don’t have a lot of aimless caterwauling in my head right now, so you won’t be getting as large a dose of my digressions. But you have gotten a heaping spoonful of the Floofinator. And that’s pretty awesome.

I think I need a nap.

It’s raining, as is tradition for Memorial Day weekend. But that means I can’t mow the lawn. And it’s not that I love mowing and I’ll miss it and I’m sad, or anything. But now I have to find something else “productive” to do. It won’t be a challenging search, there’s a long list of things I need to get done, but I’m trying to procrastinate. As to why I am trying to procrastinate, I’ve no idea.

I also need to mow the lawn. But now the lawn is wet and I need to wait for it to dry. And while it is drying it will also be growing, and taller grass means I’ll need to bag it, and bagging grass clippings makes mowing less fun, and it wasn’t fun to begin with.

So now I need to do things my brain is inexplicably telling me not do, with the understanding that once the things are complete I’ll be mowing an overgrown patch of grass. And then I’ll go back to work.

Maybe I’ll just nap.

Probably a little bit of everything, yeah?

I dream of weird shit. And I mean, W E I R D.

I’d go into detail, but this just isn’t that kind of blog-thingy. Here is for cats and Haiku and random rants about things. I suppose a dream could be the “thing” I randomly rant about… But that seems like a slippery slope. First it’s “oh, the dream is just the “thing” I wanted to ramble about today” and before you know it I’m hawking extended warranties to your gran’ma for her social security check. I’ve seen it a hundred times…

So. Let that be a lesson to all you chidrens out there.

Bye.

And just like that. The week is half over.

You all got any exciting plans for this chilly spring Thursday? Me, I got lots-o-plans. All kinds of stuff that needs doing. A map full of places that need going to. Literal piles of things that require both doing and going. It’s gonna be a real hum-dinger of honeydew day.

I have no idea what that that means. I think I may have had a small stroke there. I should probably go lay down for a while. Someone bring me chicken soup. And some ice cream. Maybe skip the soup and double up on the ice cream.

But anycrap. Every day is a day like no other, and this one will be over by the time tomorrow gets here. So do something with it.

Yes. Sweatpants. I didn’t name her, but I would be proud to say I had, because that is an awesome cat name.

I should also add a footnote, because while the vast majority of humans cannot have Mistress Sweatpants, there is one who can. And she is patiently waiting for them. And I get to enjoy her company while she waits. And that is awesome. And it’s even more awesomer because her name is SWEATPANTS!!!!

Good morning, my periodic audience. I am glad to see you all this morning. Of course, I can’t actually ‘see’ any of you. Well. At least not ALL of you.

Since you are reading theses words, I do know you have survive many many days on this planet. So one more will be easy.

Put the phone down.

Go do a thing.

And now it’s back to work. Yes, writing cat Haiku is work. But I also need work that pays me money so I can afford to go on vacations to get away from the work….  Ahhh…. capitalism.

I do, however, look forward to returning to work. Not just because my boss sometimes reads these, but because I do actually enjoy it.  I work with good people and I get to see some beautiful things. And sometimes, that’s enough to make a person happy. I hope you all can find those little happinesses too. Have a day.